Now that you have a few mindfulness exercises under your belt, it is time for some mindfulness reflections. In fact, it’s a good habit to ask yourself the following self-reflective questions each time you practice your mindfulness:
- What did I notice when I was mindful?
- What was different about this experience?
- How does what I learned relate to my symptoms?
- How does what I learned relate to my life goals?
You may have just mindfully noticed that each of these questions is basically an example of mindfulness—about mindfulness itself! Talk about becoming a mindfulness machine…
Let me provide an example of how this exercise works by featuring a former client as a case study. Several years ago, a young woman presented in therapy with complaints of panic attacks that were getting in the way of her goals for her career and dating life. As I got to know the client and her panic symptoms, it was clear that she would benefit from some basic mindfulness training. After a little brainstorming, we quickly determined that riding her bicycle would be an excellent mindfulness exercise, since this was something she did on a regular basis, and also something she enjoyed doing. When she came back for her next session, I asked her these four questions to see what she learned from her mindfulness practice.
When I asked what she noticed about mindfully riding her bicycle, she replied: “I noticed my breathing increase, I started to sweat more, my heart rate also increased, and I also noticed some of my muscles became more tense.” (You may have just realized that what my client noticed while mindfully riding her bicycle were precisely the symptoms of a panic attack!)
I continued with the next question: “Very good, great observations. And how was mindfully riding your bicycle different from how you normally go on your bike ride?” Her response was fairly typical: “Well, when I normally ride my bike, my mind just wanders, and I don’t really pay attention to those things.” I validated her insights: “So when you are mindful, you notice what is going on in your body, but not so much when you are not mindful. Is that correct?”
I then proceeded to the third question: “So how does what you learned from this little exercise relate to your symptoms?” This was the moment I had been waiting for! I could see the wheels turning in her head. “Hey,” she stammered, “so…so that’s exactly what I feel when I am having a panic attack!” “Exactly,” I responded. “But you didn’t have a panic attack. Why not?”
“Because I was exercising!” she exclaimed. “You’re supposed to have those ‘symptoms’ when you exercise.” This was my golden opportunity. “Exactly! So you’re telling me it is possible to have all the symptoms of a panic attack, but still not have the panic attack. Because ultimately it’s your interpretation of the symptoms that cause the attack and not the symptoms themselves. Is that correct?”
I could see her wheels still turning, so I proceeded to the fourth and final question: “How does what you learned relate to your personal and professional goals?” This is when my client finally grasped the connection between the mindfulness practice, her symptoms, and her goals. She agreed that it would be great if she could learn to recognize the symptoms of panic—whether at work or while on a date—but not have the panic attack! And with some additional relaxation techniques, she got there. But it all started with mindfulness.
My clients do not always reach such dramatic insights when we do mindfulness reflections. When I ask how the mindfulness practice went, a more typical response is: “I’m terrible at this. My mind constantly wandered.” That’s when I counter with: “That’s amazing. So you’re starting to notice some of your judgments. You’re even starting to notice how your mind works. You’ve already started on the path to mindfulness!”
And my excitement when I make these statements is completely sincere. Because chances are, these negative judgments and struggle with focus are precisely what have been causing their symptoms and getting in the way of their life goals. Even when clients feel like they have bombed a mindfulness exercise, it is completely the opposite. The only way to fail a mindfulness exercise is to enter a clinical coma.
Remember the definition of mindfulness from one of the earlier blogs? Mindfulness is about paying attention, for a purpose, in the present, without judging. As my client learned, there is indeed a purpose for mindfulness practice. Every time you do a mindfulness exercise, ask yourself: “How does this exercise relate to my symptoms? And how will this exercise help me meet my life goals?”
