Congratulations! You have just learned how to be more assertive in four simple steps: Describe, Express, Assert, and Reinforce. Of course, healthy relationships involve much more than just walking around ...

Regardless of how you are wired as a person, and regardless of how someone else is wired as a person, there are three A’s which are indispensable for human interactions: Assert, Appreciate, Apologize. ...

Before we learn specific strategies on how to improve our relationship skills, it will be helpful to first learn about the different relationship styles that people have in the first place. Moving Toward, ...

In earlier blog posts, you learned that trauma has a way of throwing us off balance. Just about everything can get thrown off balance by trauma: our thoughts, our feelings, and our actions. And since trauma ...

Would you ever plant a garden in the spring, and just abandon it till the end of the summer? Even if you planted the right seeds, what kind of outcome would you expect if you did absolutely nothing to ...

When it comes to the game of life, do you have trouble shooting? Or have you learned to shoot your troubles? Now I am not a violent person, but please work with my analogy: If we are going to protect our ...

Did you ever notice that reacting to your emotions can actually make them worse? For example, let’s suppose that you are really ticked off. And when you get ticked off, you clench your fists and raise ...

Check the Soil Sometimes when we have really intense emotions, it’s because we are reacting to either incomplete or inaccurate information. In other words, maybe some of the information is missing, ...

Have you ever heard a myth? Myths are often used to explain why certain things are the way they are, and they tend to get told over and over again. Myths often combine some things that are true with other ...

One of the best ways to nurture your emotions (believe it or not) is to take care of your body. Think of the last time you were sick. Or the last time you missed a meal. Or the last time you ate way too ...

In a previous blog post, we learned how to use the Balanced Mind to bring balance to our Thinking Mind. In this post, we will learn how to use the Balanced Mind to bring balance to our Feeling Mind. Do ...

I would like to introduce a thinking skill that is very simple to learn and use. I call this skill Dialectical Synonyms, or DS for short. If you remember from English class, synonyms are two words that ...

In the previous blog post, we learned that certain thoughts can sometimes provoke certain emotions which in turn can sometimes provoke certain actions. That’s why it’s so important to figure out what’s ...

Have you ever looked at yourself in one of those funny mirrors? Whose image did you see? It was you, of course. After all, it wasn’t George Washington or Michael Jordan staring back in the mirror—it ...

Psychologists have long noticed that thoughts, emotions, and actions all influence each other. Since the 1960’s, psychologists have especially focused on how certain thoughts can inspire certain emotions ...

Restoring Balance with Thoughts In the first chapter we learned about the three minds:  The Thinking Mind, the Feeling Mind, and the Balanced Mind.  Do you remember how both our thoughts and ...