In the previous blog, we talked about five stages of acceptance. Now we are going to talk about five stages of action. Do you remember why we talked about acceptance first? Because we can’t change reality until we first accept it! But now that we know how to recognize—and overcome—the obstacles to acceptance, we can next focus on taking action.

All of us struggle at times to accept the reality we have been dealt. Sometimes reality is so painful we would rather pretend that some things do not exist or never happened. However, there are many reasons why it is a good idea to accept reality—just as it is. First, it is just not possible to avoid all forms of pain; pain is simply an inevitable aspect of life. In fact, rejecting reality can sometimes make the situation even worse.

Have you ever noticed something about someone else before that person did? Maybe that person has a funny tic or says the work “like” way too many times in one sentence. On the flip side, have you ever thought that other people might notice things about you that you don’t even realize about yourself?

In this blog, we are going to talk about four different zones of awareness (Davies, 2014):

In the previous blog, we discussed the first three components of mindfulness:

1. To be aware
2. On purpose
3. In the present

When people hear the word mindfulness, sometimes they think of meditation or great mystical experiences. However, the concept of mindfulness is actually quite simple and ordinary. In this blog, I would like to demystify the concept of mindfulness. I want to make sure you understand that mindfulness is a concept that is readily accessible to everyone. While mindfulness does require patience and practice (just like anything good in life), it does not require decades of discipleship under a famous guru.

Perhaps you have heard the term “mindful.” “Mindfulness” seems to be the latest buzzword in treatment circles, not to mention society in general. But actually, the concept of mindfulness has been around for thousands of years. What does the term mindfulness mean? And what does it mean to be mindful? 

As previously mentioned, trauma has a way of throwing our lives out of sync in many different ways and directions. In this blog, we will focus on how trauma affects two mental processes: awareness and acceptance.

Trauma affects different people in different ways. But there’s one thing trauma always does: It throws you off balance. In fact, the effects of trauma can you leave you feeling so out of sync that you may wonder if anyone understands you—including yourself!

Summary (Part 10 of 10)

Ongoing trauma results in overstimulation of both the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems (accelerator and brake), resulting in a variety of responses that are either “too much” or “too little.”

DEAR Adult: One Path to Interpersonal Effectiveness (Part 9 of 10)

Whereas all the other skills mentioned so far are about self-regulation, interpersonal effectiveness inherently involves both the self and someone else. Therefore, interpersonal effectiveness inherently subsumes the other skill sets. After all, you can’t possibly deal with another person if you can’t even deal with yourself yet. 

Working the TOM: One Path to Dialectical Thinking (Part 8 of 10)

Dialectical thinking is all about letting go of the extremes, learning to think more in the middle, learning to be more flexible with your cognitions, learning to see things from someone else’s perspective, learning to see things from multiple perspectives in your own head, and learning to update your beliefs when presented with new information.

Sow Your SEEDS: One Path to Emotion Regulation (Part 7 of 10)

Whereas distress tolerance refers to short-term coping in the moment, emotion regulation refers to a long-term lifestyle change that will ultimately support much healthier emotionality.

TIP the Balance: One Path to Distress Tolerance (Part 6 of 10)

DBT distress tolerance is all about learning to cope in the moment without making it worse. It is about replacing impulsive, addictive, risky or self-injurious behaviors (in other words, any behavior that leads to even more of a crisis orientation) with more-effective coping strategies.

The RAIN Dance: One Path to Mindfulness (Part 5 of 10)

Mindfulness, by definition, is always a combination of both awareness and acceptance. The RAIN dance helps clients increase both awareness and acceptance of intense emotions and other triggers in a highly practical and applied manner. RAIN stands for Recognize, Allow, Inquire and Nurture.

Restoring Balance (Part 4 of 10)

Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), which was developed by Marsha Linehan, is all about reconciling “dialectical dilemmas” (binary extremes resulting in dysfunction) by teaching specific behavioral skills to forge a “middle path” between those extremes.

A Breakdown in Dialectics (Part 3 of 10)

This driving metaphor describes what happens to people who have experienced chronic trauma: too much accelerating, too much braking, and loss of social engagement to boot.